Downward

Winter turns to spring. I’m trying to accept my lot and move forward.

My husband and I decide to try for our second child, the little one who will complete our family. 

I do still have days where I’m lost in contemplation over self diagnosis, and I decide I better have everything I can think of checked out. I make an appointment to see an OB-GYN to have a hard, painful mass in my left breast looked at, get an annual exam, and while I'm there, pick up a prescription for prenatal vitamins. 

 There is a six week wait before I can get in.

When I do finally see the doctor, I leave with an ultrasound referral to look into the lump "just to be sure" and a prenatal vitamin prescription that will never be filled.